Where to begin? It is a new year.
Starting off my year with several set backs. I am on a hiatus from
teaching pole/aerial due to a progressive injury. Today I met with
my surgeon and it was determined that I have an injury secondary to
pole/aerial activities. My surgeon said this type of injury is
fairly common among Pilates instructors and apparently now, pole
dancers. Taking time off has really made me take everything into
perspective. It's forced me to think about my personal future in
family planning, personal friendships, and career ambitions. A part
of me feels as though I'm being pulled further and further away from
everything I've always felt passionate about in dance. Another part
of me feels it's not pole dancing I'm feeling animosity towards, it's
rather more of an environmental influence. I'm dissatisfied with the
direction my connections have lead me to in the community. I've lost
touch with many important and influential people who have inspired
and motivated me throughout the years. A disconnection that has left
me feeling well, disconnected. Unfortunately, I will be out of
commision post surgery for at least a month. I think in this time, I
am going to rededicate myself to ballet classes and reconnecting with
the dance aspect of pole dancing. I'm going to take time off from
doing the tricks until I'm released to resume prior activities.
Another part of me is being pulled in another direction completely.
I can't ellaborate on this, however it would be an involved process
and something I'm considering for a change. I guess in summary, my
life and emotions about things in my life are uncertain. I guess
this time will allow me to focus my energy where ever God feels my
energy needs to be directed. I hope where ever this journey is
taking me, is a learning experience that will help me grow and find
that resolution I'm searching for.
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